The Master Cleanse AKA Lemonade Diet

NO food. NO juices. NOTHING but the lemonade...for 7 days. I decided to give this bad boy a shot.

 

Day 1: I was pretty anxious to start starving myself and see what this lemonade diet is all about.  It started out pretty easy. I think I was getting-by on sheer curiosity as to how this “lemonade” works.  I wasn’t hungry for most of the day. At about 3 o’clock visions of tomatoes and cucumbers danced in my head. I chugged my lemonade concoction and the visions eventually went away. Day 1- not too bad.

 

Day 2: You’re supposed to start the mornings with a Saltwater Flush…about a liter of it. The recipe comes with very specific instructions written in bold all caps…”DO NOT FART.” Point taken! I mixed my sea salt and water and figured I’d just chug it. BLEEEECH. I felt like I was drowning. The taste of salt water threw me back to Cancun when I ate sea water after an unsuccessful attempt to jump a wave. No salt water flush for me…I’d rather take an Ex-Lax.

That afternoon I had BBQ catered in to work for lunch. I wasn’t tempted to eat, ‘cause I was so full of water I could hear it swishing around in my stomach as I moved. Although, by about 3 o’clock the pickle chips looked soooo good. I could taste the pickle juice. I thought about taking a piece just to suck on it and spit it out, but then I knew that I’d eat that pickle so fast it wouldn’t know what hit it.

 

Day 3: Spent most of the day around food. Talk about a test of willpower. Grocery shopping then cooking dinner. I stayed strong…for the most part. I made salmon, roasted pesto potatoes, roasted asparagus, spinach salad with grapes and hazelnuts, I also roasted some hazelnuts and glazed them with honey. I can honestly say I didn’t sample anything while cooking…note I said “while cooking.” Will power started to slip at the dinner table. I caved…I devoured 3 stalks of asparagus and a handful of grapes. It tasted so good but then I was overcome with guilt. I mixed 4 glasses of the lemonade and chugged one after another, that made the urge to eat something go away, as there was no more room in my stomach for any food, much less a drop of water.

 

Day 4: Wild rice. Oh what I’d give for a bowl of wild rice with mushrooms right now. I wonder what I’m losing through the cleanse that my cravings vary. 

Day 5: Woke up with a slight headache that eventually went away. Nothing major. I started scrolling through the Rolodex of my fave foods in my head...nothing piqued my interest. GREAT I thought. No cravings, no hunger pains, no rumblings...I'm off to a great start. That all went down hill when I walked into Quick Trip to get some water. 

There they were...long, meaty, crispy taquitos, slowly spinning on the warmer under the bright lights. There were cheese taquitos, beef taquitos, nacho taquitos...and I wanted to devour every single one. To make matters worse, they were giving out free samples. I struggled while I stood in line but managed to get out of there with just water. Temptation averted!

 

Day 6: The urge for solid foods is behind me. I no longer want anything but my lemonade. I tried going on just water alone all day, but that made me super lightheaded. There really is something to the maple syrup and lemon juice concoction. It has calories, sugar and carbs from the maple syrup. I didn't add Cayenne pepper to the mix, I took supplements instead.

Day 7: I MADE IT! I wanted to celebrate by taking care of my Mexican food cravings. I treated myself to Guacamole. I didn't want to go crazy on meat and heavy foods so I don't hurt my stomach. It tasted so good, but then I felt awful. I felt heavy, lethargic and I wanted a nap. I never felt like that while on the master cleanse. I had energy and if I was hungry I just drank and drank drank. In the end I lost 9.2 lbs, lost cravings for sweets, meats and bread. I ate salads over the weekend, but I'm so ready to get back to my lemonade for round 2.